The holiday season conjures thoughts of friends and family converging to share time together. And the anticipation of the material gifts we love to receive is a given—we don’t even think twice about receiving during the holidays. With a warm generosity inside, we all strive to make the too perfect ending of Frank Capra’s film It’s a Wonderful Life a reality. But honestly, that’s not realistic.

If I told someone that making Capra’s film was spurred by material desires, I’d probably get some verbal abuse that might include, “You’re such a Scrooge!” But filmmakers have bills to pay too. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be shooting movies they know will appeal to the public in order to make money. And there’s a point where the idealism in the media gets to be too blatant to ignore.

I’m no Scrooge—I enjoy the holiday spirit as much as anyone. But how much holiday idealism is natural? How many of those expectations have been shaped by genuine human sentiments and experiences rather than monetary interests? Films, advertisements, after-holiday sales—they’re all spurred by corporate money-gluttons. But if there wasn’t a demand, would corporations be as powerful as they are? We, the consumers, are responsible for our own enslavement to capitalism. By placing materialism before values conceived by mankind centuries ago, we diminish our humanity. We forget what is really important.

Let’s think back to the olden days. With no televisions displaying scenes of aesthetically pleasing people exchanging gifts, people were able to create their own ideals, traditions and memories. Rather than synthetic ideals, they used imagination and genuine love for family and friends to create their pictures of perfection. That’s what I call holiday magic. It’s not bought from a department store opening at 4 a.m. It is not a group of models pretending to be untouched by anxiety, financial worries and the burnt mess that is the product of five hours of kitchen labor gone awry. Bare sentiment shapes our humanity, not aspirations to replicate false ideals. It seems like that’s becoming forgotten in this capitalist, aesthetic frenzy that is the modern world.

Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I think we can all learn something from any pre-20th century society. Just to start, they didn’t have television. So instead of drooling over the commercials promoting the latest iPod this holiday season, try this: shut off the television. Recycle all of the advertisements and catalogs. Then, do something that reminds you of your values, your humanity. Perform an act of charity. Analyze materialistic urges—do you really need more stuff? Reach out to selflessness and brush off the cobwebs. Don’t know where to look? Hint—do some soul searching and deep thinking. Because you’re not going to find it in your Fendi wallet.