I enjoy nice restaurants, good food and the soft music. I do not enjoy rude waiters who botch my orders and treat their mistakes with indifference. In most cases, waiters are tipped whether or not they deserve the tip. As the tip is generally a reflection of the level of the service received, diners should feel comfortable not leaving a tip if the service is poor.

Tipping has turned from gratitude for good service to a necessity. In our current system, both good and poor service receive similar rewards. This just doesn’t make sense in a capitalist society like ours.

China, India, South Korea, Singapore, New Zealand and Australia are just a few places around the world where tipping is not a tradition. In Japan it is considered rude to tip as it implies that servers must be paid extra to do their job.

Many waiters I have encountered in my life have failed to meet my expectations of service. There are many great waiting staffs out there, don’t get me wrong. But there are also those who are not as great as others.

In a recent trip to Japan over the summer, I had a very different experience with waiters. I would say that my experience was pretty well-rounded. I stayed in hotels with ratings from one to five stars and ate at a diverse range of restaurant-authentic and fast food.

Every waiter, concierge and bellhop I encountered was attentive and courteous. At restaurants we were greeted with warm smiles, prompt service and polite bows. And there was no gratuity added just because our party was eight or more. We actually used the bellhops in our hotels knowing that we wouldn’t have to pay them an extra two dollars per bag for pushing a cart into an elevator and wearing a little hat. My dad was so happy to be able to use a competent concierge who gave advice based off of how much she wanted to help make our stay better, rather than how many adjectives they could use to make their pockets a little bit fuller.

As it is considered rude to tip in Japan, not a single one of them was tipped. Why is it that exceptional service is taken for granted in Japan while substandard service is tolerated and even rewarded here in America? While in Japan they receive a steady paycheck, in America waiters are often paid below minimum wage and supplement their income with the tips. This does give us more of a reason to tip, but it is still not an excuse for poor service.

Tipping is always optional. For large parties, the “mandatory” tip is added because in many cases, the server had to give up several other small tables, which compute to a lower tip overall. However, all tips are always optional, even if the word mandatory is put in front of it, you still don’t have to pay, as was clarified in a 2004 case that took place in Long Island, NY, where a man won his case after he was arrested for refusing to pay the requested tip.

So next time you go out to eat or stay at a nice hotel take a second to think of how much of a tip your waiter or waitress deserves and do not hesitate to give them exactly what they deserve.