I admit in the past two years that I have never had a Homecoming date. However, that never stops a girl from dreaming about the perfect Homecoming. I generally kick back and watch as girls and guys alike freak out about the same annual tradition. Who to ask? How to ask? When to ask? This is how I see it: the perfect Homecoming date doesn’t need to be a Channing Tatum (though looks are always a bonus), have a gleaming car or even ask with an elaborate plan. The perfect Homecoming date is the guy who can always make me laugh, knows how to have fun and isn’t afraid to give his all to make it a memorable night.

I know it’s ridiculous, but Hollywood nails the idea of the perfect date. I mean, tell me what girl has watched Titanic and not wanted their personal Jack Dawson? Though how a guy asks is not super important, it is nice to feel spoiled. All I ask is make it surprising, original and meaningful—not something you find in a desperate search through Seventeen.

For me, I really could care less whether he asks in a small private area, or something as public as the quad, as long as he’s able to show he cares and actually wants to go with me, not just a last resort. Oh, and of course, who can ever forget those classic roses? Those are a must.

As pointless as a corsage may be, it’s just one of those gentlemenly moves that makes the night special. With no sagging at all, the dress code followed and a presentable outfit, he would be able to relax and hang out with my friends without awkward moments. His teeth would be brushed with minty fresh breath and have a smile ready at hand. My point, he would look nice and please the eye. Lastly, but most important, the perfect date must be enthusiastic, pumped and ready to show off some crazy dance moves.

The thing is, no matter what happens, whether I get asked with a simple daisy or a huge bouquet of red roses, by the end of the night, the only thing that will matter is how much fun I had. The guide to being a perfect date won’t be found in some manual or a ridiculous movie. Although, I admit, the media does make men have a “perfect” category, I believe it’s all a figment of the imagination. No guy is going to get an airplane and write “Homecoming?” in clouds or travel to Belgium to get my favorite chocolates. Let’s face reality. I get it. Hey, sometimes the “perfect” date just isn’t possible. But other times, the perfect date might just be standing right in front of you.

My perfect date would be that guy who is able to be himself and ready to simply have an amazing night.

It’s October and we all know what that means: time to man-up and ask the perfect honey for the big night. With my regrettably limited experience with the ladies, I have only dreamt of the perfect Homecoming date.

The way I see it, girls are mythical beings which I will never understand. What I do know is that if a boy is lucky enough to obtain a female specimen, he better treat her right.

Logically speaking, for the perfect Homecoming date, a guy has to find the perfect girl to ask to the dance. For me, the one trait that really gives a girl props is the ability to keep a conversation going. Any awkwardness at all is a big no-no and a night-ruiner. No matter if I am asking a big crush or a good friend, it is important that we share the same comfort level. And one more thing, the girl best be cute enough to stand by my side in that Len Conrad photograph.

Upon identifying a target comes the meticulous planning of the perfect proposal. I’ve always believed in going big or going home, and after years of hearing about the sweetest ways a boy can ask a girl,

I will admit my proposal ideas may have lost almost all originality. I am as big of a fan of cliché scenes as any guy, but I try to embrace creativity. In my mind, the perfect Homecoming proposal would revolve around a girl’s likes and dislikes. If the girl has an unhealthy obsession, I’ll find out about it. If the girl is extremely turned on by something, it is my duty to exploit it. The proposal just needs to be practical and must contain a creative personal touch.

On the night of the dance, I have some more specific preferences. I think what makes it a flawless night for everyone is to just have fun. Obviously, I would drive with my newly acquired license because having parents in a car is the absolute worst case scenario. I would like to have dinner anywhere nice and cozy with just the two of us.

My gracious date would cover half of the bill because, come on ladies, it’s the twenty-first century now and traditions have changed. Things should to be more balanced between the two of us.

I would dress to impress and I know my date would be looking beautiful. We’ll chat it up and groove the night away without missing a beat.

The rest of the details concerning a perfect night are all a bit hazy. But all in all, if both of us had a great time by the end of the night, I would give myself a pat on the back.

Homecoming mission accomplished.