No, I’m not referring to the common teenage reaction to academic stress or social drama. This is about the more vulgar practice of “freaking.”

For those who are blissfully ignorant and don’t understand what I mean by “freaking,” I will attempt to explain. Freaking is an obscene dancing style–if one can even call it dancing–in which teenagers express their sexual desires by grinding their bodies against one another, especially in the more private areas of one’s body and often top it off with suggestive noises and gestures.

Sounds bad enough? Try imagining a group of people freaking in a circle. As one of my friends described the dance floor of last year’s prom, “it’s like a massive orgy out there.”

Freaking is a distinctly animalistic behavior. In Puerto Rico, freaking is called perreo, which is derived from the Spanish word perro meaning “dog.” While one could argue that sex is animalistic as well, at least it is confined to the privacy of one’s bedroom–not performed on the public floor of a school dance. Teenagers as a group are notoriously known for their susceptibility to sexual urges due to fluctuating hormonal levels, but a school dance is not the place to be fulfilling these sensual desires and fantasies, whatever they may be.

I’m here today to denounce this freakishly disgusting behavior. Why? Because I believe that there are better ways for us to express our enjoyment of music and dance without adding to the stereotype of teenagers being crazed sex-driven animals with no self-respect or elegance.

Additionally, freaking doesn’t follow in accordance to school rules. The administration has installed a rule in recent years that prohibits students from bending over more than 45 degrees. Dancers are also required to keep both feet on the ground. This makes it difficult to freak without having an administrator warn you about your lewd behavior. Just how embarrassing is that?

The dance floor is also known to be one of the hottest (heat-wise) and crowded places to be on campus, but these complaints would be alleviated if students just stopped freaking. Close proximity equals major increase in body heat, people.

But how are you supposed to enjoy a dance without freaking, dare I ask? Don’t engage in bodily contact with another person in inappropriate areas. Yes, it’s that simple. After all, that’s how shows like “Do You Think You Can Dance?” and “Dancing With The Stars” rose to popularity–by contestants demonstrating their skill and hard work on the dance floor with sophisticated dance styles, not through suggestively rubbing their bodies against their partner.

At Gunn, we students pride ourselves on being intelligent, civilized human beings. So I’m putting a call out for those who recognize themselves as such to lead the change. Don’t give in to peer pressure! For those who are particularly ambitious, try learning the waltz for slow dances and some two-step and swing moves for more upbeat music before the next dance and you’ll be set.

Ladies and gentlemen, let’s keep it clean for the Homecoming dance of 2009!